Commodore PET

Speaking of deals, a friend asked how many contracts he needed to get canceled with a certain chemical company located on the Holston River to prove that annexing any more property will prove unprofitable for the local municipality.  I told my friend let's wait and see. I've seen enough companies go bankrupt in that odourous town as it is, with enough mercury poisoning in the streams and creeks to make bottom-feeding politicians catfish wish they were born in a different watershed.

Like I said, give me something funny.  Watching Chinese and Japanese argue over a little fishing is about as hilarious as wondering if people driving government vehicles late at night or on weekends are really conducting "official" business.

It's getting ugly around here and I'm not just talking about my BO or my 401(k).

Don't keep me entertained and I tend to get mischievous, sticking my nose into other people's business and causing havoc in order to tickle my funny bone for absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

Think I'll announce my candidacy for the U.S. presidency.  I've got about as many credentials as the next person -- I promise I will not raise taxes, start a war or take a salary while in office.  I'll make sure members of Congress take all the credit/blame they deserve. I'll turn U.S. government office buildings into free flat rentals for those with no place to live.  They just have to vacate their flats during work hours so government employees can keep doing whatever it is they're doing now, only with soiled linens and pictures of other people's families in their cubicles (those working in outsourced customer service call centers will already be familiar with the situation).  All my speeches will be available for sale to the bidder with the largest number of comedy writers on staff.

Time to write another story-within-a-building-story-building-a-story in the parallel universe called this blog.  Hmm.... who wants to be permanent parody material on a putty pedestal?