I Ain't No Saint

Memories: Popeye, Henry, and Katzenhammer Kids.

But then there was Mandy again at Bubba's, along with a North Jackson cheerleader and Auburn fans. And DeRhonda at Hampton. And Chrissy V at Applebees. From Pigeon Forge who can't help but say kite like keight, no thanks to Va boyfriend. And Jenna whose thermostat and fuel pump said, "Whoa!," for $100 (who only took 20 - glad he's family while she's working on nursing degree from Pelississippi State(sp?)). From Wears Valley and boyfriend in Madisonville.

What about the Mr. Digg truck and the folks whose niece plays futbol/soccer for UT?

What of Sonic, RFCU, car wash, Chris Berman losing weight, Vanna looking younger everyday (like Vivian of DOOL), Beckham's salaried grassy kicks, pleasing the people in Persia, healthcare hijinks, butchered English (the language, not the people), butchered Iranian (the people, not the language) Samuel Adams brewing, Jaegermeister, Goldschlager, Maker's Maker and top shelf Long Island teas?

Why does digitised music seem to skip a beat? What has the IBEW local done for you lately? Where are the smiles? Why do penguins taste like headless delights to foxes? Why does a bear bear zucchini/cougrette, regardless of Punctuation Day?

Putin, you da man for seeing Arctic solution where walruses fear to tread water. Obama and Wen weigh serious issues heavy, like, man. Merkel needs to rein in a presidential presentation getting out of hand. Netanyahu, what the hell are you thinking? Where's Menachim Begin (atrocious spelling aside) when you need him?

I am a very patient man when I need to be, jovially clownish most of the time. BUT if you ... well... if you decide that you're somehow outside the social system, then I have no choice but to rely on colleagues to bring you back to reality with no mercy.

See, I know the bare facts. It makes me grumpy when I lack adequate sleep, and when I'm grumpy, I'm sleepy, and like the rest of the out-of-work seven dwarves, I ain't pleasant when the sheep dip hits the phantasmagoric.

Play the fool and they don't know realism from Cathy Pellum or Aimee from her sheared off fingertip at Cuts By Us.

I am a happy man, well aware of what we'll do next in the name of advancing our species off this planet despite diversions that distract our discourses on new discoveries detailing data dotting lines ducking responsibilities unnecessarily necessitated disgustingly - like Alaskan marriage prospects, the odds are good but the goods are odd but so what?

Experts can also provide you with timely advice but where is an expert when the shots hit the fan?

Create content before you consume. Like having sexual relations with your loved one instead of pleasuring yourself in solo tones (NSFW: Or in other words, put masturbation last because it decreaseases your enrgy ahead of time [sic: re: whole phrase].)