A New Hero

"This meeting is called to order."

"The Brotherhood of the Pure French Race is all present and accounted for, sir."

"Good. What is on tonight's agenda?"

"Awarding the Special Commendation of the Order of The Purist."

"For six decades you have brought up this award and offered me no candidates. It is about time we abolish this award and create one for the Not-So-Pure, is it not?"

"As direct heir to the throne of the French Empire, Ms. Bruni, sir, you may do what you wish. However, this evening we would like to nominate your 'usband."

"And what has my husband accomplished that qualifies him for this award?"

"He has started the process whereby we will rid our country of the impure. First, he transfers the gypsy population. Next he will transfer..."

"Enough! You cannot give away state secrets, even in this private of private meetings!"

"But, sir, you yourself said that the World War II was a secret plot by the French to destroy the Germans and establish the French Empire once again."

"I am surrounded by imbeciles. Why did I think that fashion magazine owners and writers could keep quiet?"

"You hired us because we are your biggest fans."

"And you have taught me that 'fan' is not the same as fanatic or fanaticism. If only Napoleon could advise me on what to do..."

"What about your 'usband?"

"He is no Napoleon."

"But does he deserve the award?"

"What? Oui, oui. Give him the award. It will make the extremists happy. The rest of the French people are apathetic and will not care. He will hold the confidence of the ones who count."

"Let the records show that the power behind the throne has selected her 'usband for the award given for the first time in sixty years."

"This meeting is adjourned. We will gather in the cabaret for our apres-meeting aperitifs. Adieu."