I envy those who get fan mail. Must be thrilling to see piles of letters from the Post Office practically glowing with praise. I get faint praise in the form of trust in my network's ability to answer questions submitted to us.
I'll sort through my inbox and address a class of inquiries about the area of our world often called Iraq.
To those who've asked if it's Satan's private security firms that're financing the attacks on Iraqi soldier/police trainees, I refer you to the following paragraph.
To those who've asked if it's the Iranian government that's financing the attacks on Iraqi soldier/police trainees, I refer you to the previous paragraph.
To the men who are suppressing formal education of women anywhere in the world, our resident witch doctor has concocted a special brew that the doctor's using in a curse ceremony to be conducted later today, condemning the cursed men and their offspring to eternal misery, including incurable diseases that don't kill you but subject you to lifelong pain and disfigurement, the inability to succeed in building multigenerational businesses, migraine headaches, the constant feeling that people are conspiring against you, sores that won't heal, bedbugs, incontinence, lice, insomnia, starvation/gluttony, nicotine/TV/Internet/fastfood addiction, alcoholism, infidelity and bad movies/TV shows. If you don't believe us, look at those who've already suffered from previous curses sent out by both the witch doctor and the witch doctor's ancestors/friends.
Remember that we need all seven billion of us positively focused on saving the species from itself. Otherwise, we're doomed (and are dooming others) to repeat the failures of our ancestors.
Back to my reading [yawn!], combining Marxist and U.S. conservative Republican book lists into a interesting week of sorting out where our interlinked societies are headed together. Toss aside the labels and the propaganda and you see what our melting pot is turning into.
Some days, I get bored helping you place in your thoughts the idea of planned killings (bombings, wars, skirmishes, raids, mob hits, etc.) in opposition/likeness to what appears on the surface to be quasi-random ones (domestic/workplace violence, suicide, etc.), knowing the majority of you won't care about the difference as long as you feel like you're following guidelines clearly defined for the lifestyle you prefer and get rewarded for (or at least won't get punished for occasionally straying from) your semiconsistent behaviour.
In the future, as more and more of our lives become permanent, public record, let us allow ourselves the flexibility, the room, the joy, the disappointment of inconsistency, because, as we all know, none of us is perfect. We are the imperfect examples of ourselves to ourselves first and foremost. If a hiring manager can use your social media profile as a basis for determining your character, then by a future law you should be able to review the details of the hiring manager's life, public AND private, (as well as the lives of the manager's friends/associates/colleagues) to determine if you want to work for the manager, since the manager is in a unique, privileged gatekeeping position. Transparency is not multifaceted - it has no sides to display/protect.
We don't die on the Internet - our caricatures just keep getting stranger. Glad we have humour to smooth out and soothe the bumps and bruises.
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