Guangdong

What happened between 1982 and 1986 was documented for the Ones Who Go Before You.

Sounds too melodramatic for me but that's what they told me (no, not "THEY" or "THEM," just people like the rest of us).

I remember when I interviewed for a position in the troop that would represent the local Boy Scouts attending the national jamboree.  One of the interviewers said, "I'm keeping my eye on you."  That thought bounces around and resurfaces when I least expect it.  In fact, I know I repeat it in my thoughts and in my notes occasionally.

Why repeat it?  Because it's what adults seem to like to do: pick out a promising person, say a few words of encouragement and watch the effect.

A robin shoves its offspring out of the nest.  Same thing.

A female spider consumes its mate.  Not the same thing.

Which brings me (takes me or carries me, colloquially speaking) to the subject of rumours.

"I know what you did last summer."

"I saw the way you [mis]treated your employee."

"I know what those bruises and prick marks indicate."

"Great job on that speech you gave the other day!"

"No one has the spreadsheet macro programming skills like you."

"Keep up the good work!"

"Another 50 reps and you'll be strong enough to play first string."

"Sorry, but we're going to have to call in your bets - your debt limit is too high for the boss to ignore, even for an important member of the family like you.  You know, if you don't pay, personal family members of yours will mysteriously burn in a house fire, right?"

Now, what exactly do those sentences tell you?  Could you create a set of rumours that told a story for every one of them?  Why don't teachers give you assignments like that?

How many of us would want to see all the rumours surrounding our stages of growth?

I heard many about me growing up and savoured the variety, ignoring most of them because I didn't have time to address the creative thoughts of idle minds, mine being busy creating its own set of humorous anecdotes about fellow members of the subcultures through which I passed.

Thus, when I hear about bullying in school, I wonder why young people let themselves worry about what others say about them.  I mean, after all, strength is in holding your ground and raising yourself on a pedestal, not waiting for others to knock you down (verbally speaking; physical bullying is another matter-against-matter, states-of-energy engagement that takes requisite skill in collecting strong friends and a wickedly complimentary mouth).

If you go with the crowd, then you're subject to mass/mob rule.

If you go with your instincts, as finely tuned as mine were by my loving parents, then you don't need the crowd for self-reliance and self-approval, knowing that family is the most important guiding light for the trailblazing path you make.

My mother and father didn't raise me based on rumours they heard.  They raised me based on direct experience.  They provided my firm foundation for me being me, no matter who I would be in the eyes of others.

My mother and father also instilled those beliefs in many generations of students - my mother teaching the first year in primary school and my father teaching college/university courses for adults (in age if not in action) - many students coming back to tell my parents how much they appreciated my parents' strong roles in their happy, successful lives.

So I guess I could say I learned to listen to my adult teachers and the supportive actions of my friends, not the vapourish rumours passing up and down the school hallways.

Of course, as an adult, I've learned there's a way to rule others using rumours (i.e., often the incomplete, first impressions that people get about their peers) but it is a precarious form of leadership, directing the fickle flow of the masses on macro- and microscales simultaneously.  Far better to rule by facts, as brutally honest as they can be sometimes, depending on a sufficient number of individuals to see truth rather than flake out on the fiction of popular crowd movements (in other words, acting as anchor points for you when the inevitable furies and storms blow rapidly through rumour mills).